Successful

I guess some people are more talented than others.

I try. I give it, maybe not my all, but plenty enough of it. Why is it that others who don't even seem to try are more successful than me? Is it just a test, or is this the way life will be for me?

Lies...

"He had to lie to do that. He was a fake, careless bastard. You're genuine and loving and truthful. And sometimes the truth hurts but you make me happy and I love you .."

That's the truth...

"I still care about him because he was my friend. He helped me through everything. I don't know if I still have feelings for him as a friend or as something more than that, but it doesn't matter, because I'm with you, and I love you."

Frustrating

Well isn't this just nice?!

They ask me a question. They tell me to answer. I answer. They don't like my answer. They tell me to change my answer to theirs. Then they tell me to be honest. I am honest. They tell me to stop being honest.

THE woman

"Yes

But I just have to make sure..

I'm letting myself love you

I'm letting you become a part of me

I'm letting you be the source of my happiness

I'm letting all these things happen that I know I shouldn't

against my better judgment ..

And now I need you

I'm weak without you

So..don't leave me.. don't let me crumple up into notthing...

I'm not strong enough to lose you"

 

...I love you

Psychotic

Of all the people I have met in my life, I have seen some very disturbed people. Crazy ones. I have written terrible things about them. But none of them come close to my girlfriend. She is the definition of psychotic.

After all, why else would a beautiful, smart, intelligent young lady love me? I'm a nobody. I don't deserve her. I have many flaws that have doomed me. But she loves me still, and I don't understand. She is too perfect for me. I don't deserve her.

But I love her. I love her for everything she does. Everything she is. I love her for her faults, and her successes. I love this girl who is crazy enough to go out with me, yet accepts me for who I am.

Disappointments

Once again, I see that look. It's a look filled with disappointment. I've tried, haven't I? I tried...

Observations:

Growing increasingly agitated and easily irritated. Minute distractions cause severe frustration. Inferiority complex (?)

Observations continue 5 weeks and 4 days after the event. Possible causes are still unknown.

Another day...

Some days are tough to deal with...but we all have to just bare our teeth and go through it.

However, some days are made even more difficult with the inclusion of certain predicaments. We never want things to be too easy now, do we?